Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
