When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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