so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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