I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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