Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the condom got lost in my hair
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My feet surprised me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
