Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But break dance skills will only take you so far
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
