I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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