im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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