Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
