But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think my fart just growled at me.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
