this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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