Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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