You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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