I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
