He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
