Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
