dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He felt like a one man threesome
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
