yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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