apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize