I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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