guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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