i just google imaged poop.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Couch. On fire.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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