put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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