brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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