This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
