ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
