very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize