just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize