im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
