Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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