Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
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They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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