that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
