Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
