Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You can't motorboat a personality
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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