as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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