In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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