first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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