hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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