Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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