I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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