you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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