My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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