I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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