I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
