Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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