i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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