i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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