Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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