I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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