wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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