I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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