How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
