Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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