I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize