new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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