we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You left your phone here
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