just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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