definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
