Pappa wants mamma naked
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
