I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize