there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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a search helicopter?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
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A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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