We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
