just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she smelled like a LAN party
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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